Toast

I have a lot on my plate and I work so hard.
But at the end of each day there is no meal on my plate.
And I go hungry; starving myself of self gratification.
You only get what you deserve, and what I've got is shoddy.

Ecstasy.

Yes. I had my first experience with the love drug. I'm not afraid to admit it.
I'm sort of upset at myself for taking it, with all of the medical problems that can arise from it, but needless to say...it was the most amazing thing that I've ever experienced.
I'm not big on drugs or alcohol, but I admit that I would try anything once.
After all, how many times do you get to do something out of the ordinary in your lifetime?
You only live once, right?
It's kind of scary though. From experiencing the extreme euphoria that I was in...It's plain to see how easy it is to get addicted to Ecstasy.
You experience a happiness and a point of self gratification like no other.
I would absolutely love to experience that all over again, but I'm far too afraid of getting hooked.
One time was plenty enough for me.
But I am so glad that I had the opportunity.
I found an inner peace with myself and now I'm so content and satisfied.
I used to be horrified at the thought of what my impression on other people were and I was always striving to make everyone else around me satisfied before I could let myself relax.
Now..It really doesn't matter. I'm not completely happy but I'm not in a pit of depression either.
I wish I could cough up a deeper explanation..but I guess it's something that you have to experience yourself to fully understand.
I'm just...satisfied. :)